Geriatric at the Age of 30?

On an everyday basis, I am constantly reminded of the horrifying fact that I am indeed getting, um, wiser. I choose to use the word “wiser” because the alternative is “geriatric” and that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.  This isn’t a brand new realization by any stretch of my imagination. Actually, this epiphany came to me at the ripe old age of 27. Yes, you heard that right. Old, crusty, and geriatric at the age of 27? You bet. Now that I am nearing the terrifying age of 30, I have finally come to terms that I am, in no way possible, still a kid. I mean, I may still act like a 14-year-old boy completely overloaded with testosterone, but little things keep popping up to remind me of my lost youth. On the latest such incidence, I was having a purely, normal, and childish conversation about movies with a younger co-worker of mine. As we rattled off quotes of our silliest and awesomely bad movies we love, I started spewing some pretty standard Wayne’s World quotes. Next up, Coneheads. Immediately following that, was a little bit of Night at the Roxbury. I was on a total SNL alumni roll.  Puzzled by the lack of reaction I was getting from my obviously funny quotes, I was taken aback by her startling confession. She had absolutely no clue what movies I was talking about. Not only had she never seen such Oscar worthy films, she had no clue that they were all based on skits from Saturday Night Live. This is when I knew. I knew right then and there I was no longer a kid. Not even close. At that very moment, I decided that youth in the physical form had left us quickly. Just like Chris Kattan’s career. As for the youth in the mental state, I am steadfast that I will always be that 14-year-old boy who will still die laughing at fart sounds. Well, at least until I break my hip.