Tag Archives: Marriage

The Callahans Get Hitched

1 Mar

This wedding? Yeah. Absolutely gorgeous. But don’t take my word for it. Come take a look for yourself!

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This Week @ MamaPop

10 Sep

After some brief time off in the beautiful mountains of Colorado, I actually regained some of my brain cells and wrote not one, but two posts over at MamaPop this week. How is that different from any other week? Well, it’s not. But!! Wait! This was the first week for my America’s Next Top Model recap! I know you are exited. I can see it on your face! So, do me a solid and go read!

Tuesday’s Post: Watch The Princess Bride Or I Will Divorce You

Thursday’s Post: ANTM Cycle 15 Recap: Episode 1 “Welcome To High Fashion”

Luck Be A Lady

30 Jun

“Man, it’s the equivalent to the surface of the sun out there.”, I muttered to a friend of mine. Even by Las Vegas standards, the summertime heat was unrelenting and ultimately unforgiving.  “I heard it is supposed to get up to 115° today.”, he fired back. We took a look at each other, shrugged our shoulders, and made our way back to the sports betting lounge. We had been there for a few hours now drinking beer, watching sports, and betting on the World Series. My pick? The Kansas City Royals. At that time, they were a 750/1 odds of making the World Series. Like a true, hardcore fan, I plopped an even $50.00 down on the table and made my wager. You see, I was feeling lucky that day. No, I wasn’t on a roll at the Blackjack table. I hadn’t hit the jackpot on the slots either. Everyone inside the Bellagio Casino could see my glow. They knew I was a man who couldn’t be wronged. My swagger was on. There was no stopping me.

To some, the 181st day of the year bears no meaning. It’s just another random day on the calendar. June 30th to be exact. That year, it fell on a Saturday. As I sat in the cold, air-conditioned lounge, my mind started to race. Thoughts of every kind of nature filled my tiny brain. Lost in thought, I failed to notice the cocktail waitress ask me if I wanted another beer. “Dude, are you ready?”, my friend, Tim, asked. “For another beer?”, I replied completely baffled by this line of questioning. “No, dumbass.” “It’s time.”, he belted out in an almost fatherly kind of way. Without hesitation, we got up and made our way to the elevators.

The unmistakable sounds of the elevator seemed to soothe my racing mind. I leaned up against the wall and counted each and every floor. With each beep, the 14th, 15th, and 16th floors whizzed on by. People would get on, exchange pleasantries, and quickly exit just as they had entered. Up next, the 17th floor. This was my stop. No turning back now. I exited left and made my way to my room. Methodically, I  showered, dressed, and adjusted my bow-tie for the 100th time. Everything had to be completely perfect. This had to go off without a hitch. At this point, errors were not to be tolerated.

I made my way down to the lobby. The concierge must have noticed the lost look in my eyes and gently pointed me in the direction of the revolving doors at the entrance. As soon as I my foot hit the pavement, I could feel the heat snatch the breath straight from my lungs. “Now, what do I do?”, I thought to myself. No sooner than the words exited my mind, a white limousine pulled up. The door popped open and I could hear a familiar voice inviting me in. One foot after the other, I climbed in the limousine .

My eyes were having a hard time adjusting from the harsh desert sun to the poorly and dimly lit cabin of the limousine. I could hear a giggle or two and make out a few faces staring back at me in the darkness.  Out of nowhere, I could feel a hand reach out and grab mine. “Are you ready for this?”, she whispered into my ear. All I could do was nod my head in agreement. Without warning, the limo came to a screeching halt. I could hear the others loudly proclaim, “We’re here!”. One by one, everyone was ushered out of the limo and into the blazing sun. As I followed, I could see a huge sign above the building that seemed to hover like a halo. T-R-O-P-I-C-A-N-A was spelled out in all its glory.

All around us, I could hear cheers and whistles from friends and patrons alike. As we made our way through the lobby and casino, the cheers got louder and the applause was borderline thunderous. Before I knew it, we were back outside. The smell of fresh flowers filled the air. Suddenly, the heat was barely noticeable. I could hear someone calling my name in the distance. This was it. It was my turn.

I made my way down a path that lead to a giant wooden gazebo. There was a man standing there. He was tall, wore wide rimmed black glasses, and had thick dark hair. He gave me a wink, a head nod, and began to smile. As he did this, I turned to see the crowd that had gathered behind me. My mom was there. So was my little sister. I could see friends and family for what seemed to be miles and miles. In the distance, I could hear music. The kind of music you have heard a thousand times, but never really paid much attention to. The melody was a gentle reminder of why I was there.

And there she was. I could see the top of her face as the sunshine peered down on her. One by one, she scaled the steps towards me. Her simple white dress sparkled in the sunlight. I could feel my heart racing just as fast as my mind was. I reached out and took her hand. I could see the nervous tears filling her eyes. The man, who was still standing behind us, started to speak. I am sure whatever he had to say way all fine and dandy. I, however, was concentrating on this beautiful woman in front of me. It had been a whirlwind romance. We didn’t care what anyone had to say. We didn’t care what anyone’s thoughts were on this day. As public as this display was, we were in our own world. Just the two of us, hand in hand. A few minutes had passed. The man behind us was done with his speech. “By the power”….”The State of Nevada”…”Yada, yada”. “Blah, blah, blah.” “I know pronounce you man and wife.” “You may now kiss your bride.”, he blurted out with a resounding pitch. As I reached out and grabbed my new wife, I knew that this moment was more than special. We kissed, we hugged, we laughed, but most importantly, we loved.

The 181st day of the year still give me goosebumps as if I were back in that desert sun. We were just two kids in love. We were hellbent on creating a life of learning and loving each other. After nine years together, that rings true more and more every single day. And to my wife, I am still that snot nosed, chubby kid who asked you to marry him. I still see you with those very same eyes. Nothing will ever change that. Happy Anniversary, my love. I love you more than words will ever show.

The Male Anatomy and Lovely Quilts

29 Jan

There are many things a self-respecting man would never do in his life. In fact, you could probably write a whole textbook on the subject. To borrow from the great Neil Patrick Harris, it would be called the Bro Code. As you would expect, it would be filled with funny and downright immature little quips mainly based on the three major things men care the most about. That’s right, a whole book based on nothing more than women (mainly just their body parts and what can be done with them), food, and sports. Based on a conversation I had with the wifey the other night, I am convinced we may need another section to this so-called manual. From this point on, we shall add the “I Would Rather Pull Out My Own Pubes” chapter to the good book. Yes, you read that correctly. Things so undeservedly asinine you would rather take a fist full of your own black and curlies and give a violent tug. Case in point? A full-grown man should never utter the words “Just spent a wonderful 4 day weekend with the wife at a quilting convention”. Sure, we are all guilty of doing our husbandly duties. In most cases, you just smile, suck it up, and hope for a lavish reward in the end. The aforementioned scenario would have probably left my poor wife a young divorcee with two kids and a mortgage. Sorry, but the only way I would ever consider attending such an atrocious, cult like herding of middle-aged women sporting mock turtlenecks, mom jeans, and cat cardigans would be if I had my own booth filled will nothing but quilts in the shape of penises, monster trucks, and inspirational messages like “Rock Out With Your Cock Out”. I am pretty sure I would sell out of all the manly paraphernalia in about an hour. Actually, I am convinced of this. Anyway, I will leave you with this thought for today. Something for you to ponder and lose sleep over. Until the next time, I will be barefoot in the kitchen, washing dishes and baking pies. Why? Because my wife told me to.

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