The Storm Within

17 Apr

As I lay here in this empty bed, I listen to the thunder roll in from the west. With each crash and boom that resonates through my eardrums, I realize something insanely profound. As the pain and nausea sets in, this epiphany, this harsh reality, hits me hard like a sucker punch to the gut from an unknown opponent.

The thing is, I should have known this all along. This truth shouldn’t have come as a surprise in any way.

But it did. It took me completely off guard.

And as each flash of lightning illuminates this cold, dark room, my newfound sense of reality finally starts to set in.

I am a storm.

From a distance, you can appreciate and even love a storm. You can marvel at its raw power and beauty. A storm, will mesmerize you and lull you into a false sense of comfort.

I am a storm.

Most of the times, you will make it through a storm unscathed with little more than a few drops of water dripping down your face. But sooner or later, unapologetically and without warning, a storm you’ve seen a million times will turn on you in an instant. Suddenly, you are left wondering what hit you and what you are supposed to do next.

You see, I am a storm. You can only love a storm until it actually does damage to you. Like the best storms often do, I will ruin and destroy. And because of that, you cannot love a storm. Even the most seemingly harmless of storms are unlovable.

I am, without a doubt, a storm.

And as most experts say, you do not get close to a storm. It’s always in your best interest to just admire it from afar.

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12 Responses to “The Storm Within”

  1. Jules April 17, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    After the storm, there’s a calm that I truly love. Just a thought I had.

  2. pia April 17, 2011 at 7:44 pm #

    Truly beautiful post :) Came from Studio 30 and glad I did

    • TJ April 17, 2011 at 7:45 pm #

      Thank you!

  3. flutter April 17, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

    storms clear away all of the pollution and ugliness and allows growth. You are not a hurricane. You are not destruction.

  4. Frelle April 17, 2011 at 11:38 pm #

    cant make you hear things you dont want to hear, but you are not destruction and people are not better off being away from you. you wrote this really well, but it makes me incredibly sad to think you really believe it.

  5. DTfromKC April 18, 2011 at 4:50 am #

    I love the use of the analogy from a literary standpoint, whether actually true or not… leaning towards not, but it at least comes from the heart. Writing has certainly shown to be cathartic to those in a darker place, so write what you must, whether people agree with it or not. I realize I all too often express my darker half, being depressed and self-loathing at times, so I’m not about to preach on avoiding expressing how you feel, whether good or bad. I always enjoy reading your witty, light-hearted, angrily comical posts, but I also like knowing people are imperfectly human. That’s when we truly connect. We all destroy at times, whether intentionally or not, and blame ourselves for life’s unfortunate occurrences, but I have a feeling you’re one of the stronger ones who will rise above and still be standing when the smoke clears and accept your mistakes and others’ mistakes as the ignorant side of life we’re all meant to learn and grow from. Intelligent people usually do, and you’re definitely intelligent, so I hope your current outlook shapes itself into something worth writing about in a positive light eventually. Take it on like Rambo. Bring it on, bitch. Bring it on.

  6. nic @mybottlesup April 18, 2011 at 8:50 am #

    this weekend, i was putting my son to bed while it rained and thundered. he told me he was scared of the storm. i snuggled with him for a little bit and talked to him about the rhythm that can be heard when listening to a storm… the sound of the rain… the roll of thunder… there is a beauty to it.

    then he fell asleep.

  7. Elly Lou April 18, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    So do you too have a cool trick so that we can tell how far away you are?

    • TJ April 18, 2011 at 10:06 am #

      Haha! I wish. That would be way too easy though.

  8. eviesweet April 18, 2011 at 7:57 pm #

    I loved this. I totally get it.

  9. DTfromKC April 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Sorry. My replies are too wordy. What I mean to say was “good job.”

    • TJ April 19, 2011 at 7:16 am #

      You know what? I rather like your long replies. Seriously.

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